Some of you may or may not know that I decided to take a sabbatical from some things that were very near and dear to my heart. I started this sabbatical over at my former home. Perhaps it was part of my sobriety and the detox that help get me booted. I like to think I was keeping it real and not being blinded by selling out my ideology because my guy was in power. ehhh maybe it was both. No one likes being called out, especially by an angry guy days off of binge in Amsterdam.
Most likely though,the death spiral that occurred over there was in part due to my “cleaning up”. For a long time Beer and Alcohol were a part of my everyday life. There was very little occasion that I didn’t fancy myself thinking about having a nice beer. Mowing the lawn….beer. Grilling…beer. Showering…beer. Wakeup on the weekend…can’t wait till Noon to have a beer. There was even a point where in the morning I was putting a little nip in the coffee prior to going to an event. Coming home from work…beer.
Then I started my new job and within a few weeks went out to lunch with some of the folks working there and had some beers during lunch. We thought it would be awesome to go to Victory and get a sample of the 10 most popular beers. We ending up getting 2 samplers.. I could barely focus on work when I got back. Luckily my boss stays in her office all day and rarely takes the time to converse with her people. Not good. I knew it, but I didn’t stop.
So fast forward to day 41 and here I sit, not really thinking about beer anymore and not really thinking about getting high. Over the course of the past 41 days my son has turned 1 and have turned 37. Both pretty significant events. I was unemployed for quite a while and at 37 am no spring chicken. I can’t continue to fuck up my life by trying to get high at any cost. At some point my priorities have to shift and they are beginning too.
Last week I went to the in-laws and they bought me O’Doulles. I had one and I felt like I was cheating this clean up process I’m going through. I committed to 6 months of no drinking or drugging, but to be honest am wondering if after my 6 months are up if I will go back. I can’t believe I’m thinking that. I have a collection of wine I would like to polish off, but I guess I could give it away. I also have some pretty damn good tequilla. I really love Whiskey too and was planning on buying a nice $200 bottle of something after this stint was over.
Right now, I still am somewhat looking forward to having one again. As time goes by though, I think the part of me that wanted to quit is winning the battle over the addictive part. I don’t know if I will ever have a drink again. Part of me still wants to, but as I’m able to enjoy life more frequently without the aid of a beverage the less I think I want to go back.
Who the hell knows though, for now I am day 41 (unless having one NA beer my in laws bought me nullified it) and I’m getting to the point where I have adjusted to not having and not needing/wanting it.
I’m kind of liking the not drinking thing, but man being in Amsterdam with some Afghany magic was very niiiiiceeeee
Woohoooo Day 41 and counting
“can’t continue to fuck up my life by trying to get high at any cost.” When you want to say fuck it think very hard about your son and keep a picture of him with you at all times. 37 you’re lucky !!!!!! Me , 55 and I doubt I’ll every see the $$$ I was making before getting laid off. My oldest son will be 38 in March , do the math, My children 38 from wife #1, 33 & 32 from wife #2 and 23 from wife #3 and I’ve been married to wife #3, 29 years. I have a GED and a pocketful of college credits, I worked for the same employer for 32 years until two years ago when my boss who was 3 years old when I started the company treated me like a used typewritter! So I bailed and two year later economy takes my job. Kilroy’s rule number 1, no matter how hard you have it someone else has it harder. Rule # 1 when you fuck up your life it will fuck up your kids! FYI no pension just a small 401K that went down the shitter with the economy. Dad ,your life belongs to your son not you! Live it for him!
“I really love Whiskey too and was planning on buying a nice $200 bottle of something after this stint was over.”
Take $20 and buy some Wild Turkey 101 and save the rest.
Got you on my blogroll and thanks for putting me on your’s.
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thanks for sharing
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Don’t do it. Make the 6 month thing a 12 months thing and see how you feel then. I’ve never confronted anything nearly as important as what you are taking on now. So I’m talking out of my ass – but don’t stop.
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Gratz on 41 days, mister viti! Your six month goal is good. A twelve month goal is good, too. But always use that “today” goal and when that’s over, use the “tomorrow” goal.
Completely different matter, and I’m not trying to do any sort of comparison since there is no comparison, but I used the “today” and “tomorrow” goals constantly when I was home-schooling my daughter. “Today, I will get through this material with her.” “Tomorrow, I will educate her.” That helped me, a procrastinator’s procrastinator (never put off till tomorrow what you can forget about doing), actually get done what needed to be done.
Might help you, too.
(Okay, sorry, educator-at-heart in me (and a bit of a prodder for excellence).)
But since we’re mortal enemies (not really), I have to leave you with this: You’re a leftist loon!
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we shall see what happens. I’m already trying to compromise when I will drink and when I won’t. Vacations, travel out of the country, yadda, yadda, yadda. this isn’t easy at all
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